Ranking Sydney Nightclubs by Cleanliness (If We Dare)

Let’s just say it — nightclubs are rarely clean. But some of Sydney’s top venues actually put effort into post-party hygiene. Here’s our completely unsolicited (but highly accurate) ranking:

🧽 1. IVY

The Merivale money shows. Big venue = big mess, but they’ve got the cleaning crew and budget to keep it dance-floor-fresh.

✨ 2. mvp

No idea how they do it, but they do. Club MVP has a moderate 6/10 sense of attention to detail when being cleaned - for a Sydney nightclub that’s rare.

🧼 3. Chinese Laundry

Grungy vibe, but surprisingly organised. Their underground space needs daily work, and they actually book it.

😬 4. Home Nightclub

Iconic but slippery. Bathrooms and balconies take a hit. Still cleaner than you'd think for 1,000+ people partying on 3 levels.

🚨 5. Any Club in Kings Cross

Sticky floors. Cigarette butts in urinals. That one couch that should be legally removed. Enough said.

📣 Call to Action

Nightlife isn’t dirty by default. If your venue needs a reset by sunrise, Ultrix is your crew. No glitter left behind.