What Your Vacuum Brand Says About You (Inner West Edition)
It's not just about suction. It’s about identity.
You can judge a person by their handshake, their coffee order… or, if you’re in Sydney’s Inner West, their vacuum cleaner. At Ultrix, we’ve seen them all — from crusty bagged beasts wheezing through tile floors in Petersham to fancy cordless sticks humming through minimalist offices in Enmore. And we’ve come to a conclusion:
Your vacuum cleaner is your spirit animal.
So whether you're running a boutique gym in Leichhardt or a candle shop in Newtown, here's what your vacuum says about you — and yes, we’re judging (just a little).
1. Miele
Ah, the German workhorse. You bought this after Googling “best vacuum cleaner ever made” and watching three 38-minute YouTube reviews. You like things done properly. You probably drive a Volvo, own matching socks, and correct people’s grammar in emails. Your business smells like eucalyptus and achievement. The downside? You haven’t changed the filter in three years. Classic.
2. Dyson Cordless Stick
You’re sexy, smug, and slightly overconfident in your cleaning game. You spent $900 to feel superior while pretending you’re in a vacuum commercial. Your shop is sleek. You serve matcha. But you forgot to charge it last night, and now it’s dying mid-suck. Dyson users are all about the aesthetic, but if we ask to see the bin… it’s usually full. And sticky.
3. Henry (the little red-faced vacuum with the smile)
You’re nostalgic. Maybe even a little ironic. You run a quirky vintage store or a comedy podcast out of your co-working space. Henry’s cute. He gets noticed. But his suction is about as powerful as a handshake in a dream. You love him anyway — because you’re more about vibes than results. (We respect that, but your floors don’t.)
4. Aldi Cordless
You live on the edge. You bought this vacuum because it was “on special” and you believed the hype. You might own crypto. You definitely didn’t read the manual. This vacuum is either the best $99 you’ve ever spent… or a regret you keep charging out of stubborn pride. Your business has personality. And crumbs.
5. Roomba
You value automation. You probably have three smart home devices, a standing desk, and a playlist called “Deep Focus // Flow State.” But here’s the thing: your Roomba’s stuck under a filing cabinet and hasn’t moved in four days. You like the idea of clean, not the reality. It's okay. That’s why we exist.
6. No Vacuum
You’ve gone rogue. You run a small bar or warehouse in St Peters and think mopping is enough. Spoiler: it’s not. You’ve got dust tumbleweeds behind your speakers, and your staff has started sweeping with a cardboard box lid. You say you're “low impact,” but your floors say “neglected."
The truth? Most commercial spaces are undervacuumed, mis-vacuumed, or simply vacuum-lied-to. Vacuums are tools — not solutions. And none of them replace deep, targeted commercial cleaning. Especially in Sydney’s dust-heavy, high-traffic Inner West.
✅ Want Results that Suck (in a Good Way)?
Ultrix Cleaning provides professional-grade vacuum and dust extraction for commercial spaces across Sydney’s Inner West — including gyms, clinics, studios, and shops.
✔ HEPA filtration systems
✔ Spot-to-ceiling suction service
✔ Non-toxic, ultra-effective gear
📍 Book now at www.ultrixcleaning.com — because your vacuum says a lot. But our results say more.